Self-help guru Gerry Hussey says we need to silence our inner critic to fulfil our potential and achieve our dreams.
Hussey - a performance coach, mental health expert and corporate advisor - says his blueprint for success is creating a winning mindset and getting rid of negative messaging. His latest book, I Am, I Can, I Will, tells readers how to shut down the inner critic, waken your inner coach and reclaim confidence and power.
Writes Hussey: "What do I truly believe has the greatest impact, not just on our happiness but also on our health and our ability to manifest the life we dream of? Our inner voice. If we were to focus on one thing that could change our lives, it would be changing our self-talk. If we can change our inner self-talk, something magnificent will happen.
"Our every day inner voice, the words we use, the tone we speak to ourselves, is either building an incredibly empowering and healing inner coach, or a disempowering and hurtful inner critic. It's so important in life we never allow distraction of self-doubt to become our dominant story.
"Yes, there will be tough times, there will be setbacks, life can be difficult. But you should never lose sight of the most important story - you are powerful, you are free. And you can have a massive impact, not just on your own life but on the lives of others."
Hussey has worked with some of Ireland's top athletes to help them get the best of themselves, such as Munster Rugby and the Irish Olympic boxing team. David and Stephen Flynn - aka The Happy Pear twins - call him a "modern-day sage".
He's nailed it with his latest self-help book, considering celebrities such as Brooke Shields, Drew Barrymore and America Ferrera have told previously how they had to shut down the negative internal monologue in order to get ahead.
Hussey starts by helping people understand their inner voice, its patterns and habits, and asking such questions as: 'Is that voice enabling or disabling you?' 'Is it empowering or disempowering you?' 'Healing or hurting?' 'Is it the soundtrack you want to be listening to for the rest of your life?'
He breaks down his book into three parts: I Am, which looks at knowing yourself and the life experiences that shape you, and looking at your own personal story you tell your self.
Watch out for the inner critic, which he says can manifest in different ways, such as self-blame (criticising ourselves for mistakes, failures or perceived inadequacies).
First-need identify perfectionism (setting impossibly high standards and harsh critique if we fail to meet them); self sabotage (perpetuating cycles of self-defeating behaviour); and fear of failure (discouraging us from taking risks).
On the flip side, the inner coach can show itself through positive self-talk (using affirming language to remind us of our strengths and capabilities); motivation (fuelling determination and helping us to stay focused); and problem solving (approaching challenges and setbacks with a positive, solution-focused mindset).
He notes: "First you need to identify the story your inner voice is narrating, and getting most attention. If this story is disabling you, it's time to waken up your inner coach."
The second part of his self-help book - I Can - looks at success stories, believing in yourself and what he calls The A Method.
"In every situation, there comes a moment of decision: to stay stuck or get unstuck. I use a process with my clients to help them recognise when they're stuck in a self-perpetuating negative cycle and help them back to a state of calm, focused action. It has four simple steps: Allow and accept, Acknowledge and reframe, Adjust, Align and act.
"In the Allow stage, we allow the situation to unfold. For an athlete, for example, this is allowing themselves to have made a mistake or dropped a point. We detach our energy, awareness and attention away from the situation and back to what we can control.
"Acknowledge means knowing you have a choice - to continue to be fixated on negativity and judgement, or to become calm in the chaos. We are not defined by what happens but how we choose to respond. When we Adjust our thoughts, we either point them in the direction of fear or the direction of love.
"Finally, we align our actions with our intentions. How to we align our intention with our attention? By affirming and visualising our desires through positive self-talk. This focused intentionality can help us attract opportunities and people that support our goals and aspirations."
In the last part - I Will - Hussey teaches how to break the record, gives the tools for transformation and instructs on how to build good habits. He explains: "If you're familiar with record players, you'll know that at times, the needle can get stuck.
"When it does, it keeps playing the same line over and over again. We know we must move the needle to change it. I like the idea of scratching the record to break free from a line we're stuck with. Techniques to do this include exercise, cold water immersion, affirmations, journalling and visualisation."
His key techniques overall are practising self-awareness, challenging negative thoughts, practising self compassion, using positive affirmations, surrounding yourself with positivity and engaging in self-esteem boosting activities.
Gerry Hussey's latest book, I Am I Can I Will, is published by Gill and is out now, priced €19.99.
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